Sleeping lion- k.clarke

High Tech outa space phone

That never rings

A chronically depressed budgerigar that only sings the blues

Outa tune

Dreams of leaving work forever

In a hot air balloon

Ride

A whole lot of maybe with NOT on the side

There are sleeping lions at the bottom of the well

All my secrets with no-one to tell

You Shot me in the heart with a dick

With glue and sellotape I tried to make it stick

Back together

Fists clenched Tite as a

Bastard in the morning light

Your watch always tells the wrong time

I was trapped in the tomorrows of

“How are you’s”

“ I’m FINE”

Running. LATE…. k.clarke

Started the race a little late on

I was trying to remember the start of that song

By the time I remembered “I’ve’ got to be certain” everyone had gone

It’s like being pregnant and on the pull

Life as a vegetarian ventriloquist is allot of bull

Shit talk people all the time about nothing and something and about being “fine”

Three blind mice open your eyes and roll the dice

Stop wearing beige settling for second best and using the term “nice” to describe sofa’s and art and

Things you like,

Get on YOUR BIKE

Run the other way, do something unexpected and pay

For dinner, get a fucking life, getting a fucking love, get the fuck out of this place

On the back’s of peace doves

Start living like it was yesterday tomorrow start by remembering your on borrowed

Time to take life by the arse, time to take the lead in the farce

It won’t be long till it’s at an end and its over ,driving Over the white cliffs of Dover in your mini metro rover, holding hands and thinking about all your plans that you never did

All the times you fucked up as a kid,

Fuck it up, shut it up,

Take a lick

 Make your life merry and Dance like a prick

 

 

 

 

 

Maureens Poetry

Maureen Mcfarlen, My Japenese wife has written a poem about Oprah Winfrey in English class. here it is I think its “dangerous”

 

Oprah you bring joy

that is Unremarkable Thankyou please you you You

remind me of an old Dina Carrols

You are joy in many outfit, accessorise wise you are poor

You are hero of mine. But you are not thin.

You are full of it

And you preach Soft furnishing and life lessons you teach

 I want to eat you and take your power and get free car

I want to be the cash handout in your bra

I want to behold and take everything you have to me I want marry moustache man Stedman in my love nest

You are joy and you could bring to me Over some wines

Oprah you are one of times.

John Cooper Clarke- Health Fanatic

Around the block – against the clock
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock
Running out of breath – running out of socks
Rubber on the road… flippety flop
Non-skid agility… chop chop
No time to hang about
Work out health fanatic… work out!

The crack of dawn he’s lifting weights
His tell-tale heart reverberates
He’s high in polyunsaturates…
Low in polysaturates…
The Duke of Edinburgh’s award awaits
It’s a man’s life
He’s a health fanatic… so was his wife

A one-man war against decay
Enjoys himself the hard way
Allows himself a mars a day
How old am I – what do I weigh
Punch me there… does it hurt… no way
Running on the spot don’t get too hot
He’s a health fanatic, that’s why not

Running through the traffic jam – taking in the lead
Hyperactivity keeps him out of bed
Deep down he’d like to kick it in the head
They’ll regret it when they’re dead
There’s more to life than fun
He’s a health fanatic – he’s got to run

Beans greens and tangerines
And low cholestrol margarines
His limbs are loose, his teeth are clean
He’s a high-octane fresh-air fiend
You’ve got to admit he’s keen
What can you do but be impressed
He’s a health fanatic… give it a rest

Shadow boxing – punch the wall
One-a-side football… what’s the score… one-all
Could have been a copper… too small
Could have been a jockey… too tall
Knees up, knees up… head the ball
Nervous energy makes him tick
He’s a health fanatic… he makes you sick

Poem

The longest one-syllable word in the English language is “screeched.”

“Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.

Almonds are members of the peach family.

The symbol on the “pound” key (#) is called an octothorpe.

The dot over the letter ‘i’ is called a tittle.

Ingrown toenails are hereditary.

The word “set” has more definitions than any other word in the English language.

Underground” is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters “und.”

There are only four words in the English language which end in “-dous” — tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

The only other word with the same amount of letters is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconioses, its plural. The longest place-name still in use is a New Zealand hill,

Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwenuakitnatahu. Los Angeles’s full name is “El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula” and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size,

 

 

Huburts poem from his travels

Huburts latest poem

The_Helm’s_man here is the link

John Cooper Clarke-Nothing

Something is but nothing
Something it is not
Nil plus nil is nothing
Nothings what I got
Nothing on the tele
Nothing going on
Nothing to get worked up about
Nothing by the ton
Nothing times a million
Nothing minus ten
Don’t say nothing to no one
It’s nothing to do with them
Come all the way from nowhere
And now I’m nowhere else
Where nothing is out of place
No one lives
And nothing smells
Talking to no one
It’s like talking to the wall
I give you what I get
I give you bugger all

Phoney….

Another one bites the dust

Ringing tones just turn to rust

Lost Stolen or bust

I need a new phone to get connected

I need a new phone just on my own

I need a new pho o own all alone

I want a new phoney all alone

Don’t I Don’t I
and this time ill get insured for sure

Wont I wont I

Still pay in the bills for a phones that’s not there
I’m so dumb with a vacant stare

Can’t get in touch!

I need a new pho o own

I need a new pho o own

Riachard Allen- Watermelon man

Watermelon man

I was visiting a friend wen I met you

We met at the black cap over beef stew

I think it was clear why we were there

You were an architect with blonde hair

18 pints shagging in your room

Of your council flat, there was a stain on your bed were cat had sat

You were sexy like in the movies, with a Birmingham accent that wasn’t as groovy

It was half way through the night when I noticed you had changed outta site

something is happening to your face, I should get the hell outta this
place, its  vibrating its inflating. Your head had almost exploded, is it me am I still loaded?

gotta get away from the melon head

his heads exploded, is it something I said

gotta get the hell out of here

999  hello its heads like a watermelon

Im being sincere!

Hes the watermelon man

Hes the watermelon man

Watermelon man

its a one night stand that turned ugly

gotta get away from melon head

things could turn ugly

his heads exploded

is it something I said

melon head melon head melon head

Words……..

I like words and collections of words and am always fascinated with the order and  how people use them. I think if you just take key words out of a sentence or conversations you can often get to the root of what people are really saying. Below is a collection of words taken from dating profiles which are my new hobbies. Im into experimenting these days whith all things. its a bit art schooly but its interesting.

DATE ME dATE YOU

time transcended physical rip rub clothes together recapture;

chuck recapture

 wife LIFE settlements passion run away re-reading captures STATUES AND THRONES IN YOUR OWN HOME

essential bastard absolute

 live living lurking PLAYING MY FLUTE Soulmates ON DATES IN THE CITY LOOKING PRETTY

 cringe Dateline DIY reaching recent devious desperate CUP OF TEA

IT JUST YOU AND ME