Barree updates us-toilethumour

Well i have been bored for nearly 20 dog years squeezed into four years working as a dry cleaner. And now with my boss leaving it really is time to spread my wings, i really want to get into the toilets industry. I’m not shitting you!

  I see it  as somewhere I could thrive. I work well as an individual as well as group, I use a toilet several times a day and feel confident in working with toilets in a professional way . I am looking for maybe toilet attendant, toilet cleaner, toilet designer? Maybe sewer worker? I love being in dark places especially underground for long periods with other men wearing plastic.  I enjoy cleaning products professionally and sociably. It is great to finally have a nude erection!. Who knows one day I could be running all the toilets in the country it is important to think big toilets, and not to limit myself. !

Whats in—- whispering in toilets

inside toilets outside!

Toilet humour

Whats out-

 leg weights

Life is sweet

 

BAREE Dancing

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Hi Jeez, was hanging out with Molly Brown and the crew last night just jamming some pretty groovy Hammond organ tunes and free styling. There is a link above, it leads to facebook but it will be on youtube as soon as! socks warn by BAREE  available to buy this week at Netil market!

 

: Hammond music

Bareee is Back!

This year I am totally Buggin!
As you may or may not know Maureen and I have been missing for 6 months!, assumed dead by many.
Actually we were in Torquay on a fashion Pilgrimage! We have been staying in a disused caravan by the sea all winter!. After the Gerry Spice styling incident it was important we left London without trace to lay low for a while. It has been a spiritual enforced retreat. For six months we had no other human contact and we lived on a diet of mashed potatoes and mung beans, Wearing old sheets. We finally got the ok from Gok that we could safely return to London! With our styling careers on hold for now, we are back to spiritual lifestyle advising as our only paycheck!

We are back living in our old haunt! (The corridor) so if you need future forecasting, mental massage, or anything  sexy spiritual then please come round very reasonable rates.
Meanwhile heres a freebie for 2012

Fashion Forecasting!

To achieve your goals in 2012 it is important to channel the spirits of those gone before and mix em up to create your inner and outer diva!

Who to channel this years!

Personality wise- Police Academy 5
Dancing Wise-   Ballet meets Blindmans buff
Accent Wise- Stephen Hawkings meets Shaka Khan
Fashion Wise- Pocahontas meets Jesus Christ in a bar and gets felt up by Su Pollard
Love Wise-Emmer dale farm meets Dancing with the stars
Animal of inspiration- The Dinosaurs!
Inspirational person- Robocop 2

Beechoo wa wa xx

sick valentine!

Valentine’s day really is the next thing to look forward to hand made cards for all!

Baree Tweets!

Spent the day in Streatham and captured these two great looks! you can’t really see the womans outfit too well in the top pic, buts she is wearing a heavy blue full skirt with matching socks and shoes. an ill fitting cagool, her hair is frizzy and unkempt and she was on the way to a hard ware store, and was angry looking! FIERCE, FIERCE, FIERCE ….fABULOUS!

The hair “style” was found in a local pub in Streatham hill its absolute “punisher”

Barree updates

Baree is our resident fashion blogger, he lives in a lift shaft in Victoria Park with his 72 year old Japenese wife Maureen. Baree is our fashion scout and talent, he tells us how to live and where to live it.

Ironically Listening to the “Happy Mondays” on  a miserable Wednesday eating popcorn for breakfast and working on my new song

” I think I fucked it” and the follow up “hmm not sure”

Word up you bunch of muthers! I have been in rehab since coming back from Berlin, not for drugs and alcohol like you all think,  but for Mania actually! yeah  mania, I was pleased too!

Maureen has also been in hospital, she won a boob job at Mecca bingo, the op finally came through. She was flown up to Scarborough stayed in a 3 star hotel and has had the star treatment by all accounts. She had a tripple f implants, its really good actually because her implants are recycled from jelly fish. so good that she is doing her bit for the environment! “snaps” Maureen!

She looks totally “bogus” and kind of deformed and fat which is a really big look in the east end! “Shizzed “the main thing is at least on one part of her body the skin looks smooth mainly because it is stretched to capacity! Since the boob job Maureen has been jogging late at night in parks in her bikini, call me superstitious but I think she is ready to meet someone.

I have had a free shelf since Berlin, but have been around town seeing as many doctors as possible and getting intimately examined, (you have got to get it where you can) “batchoob”

Dont be seen dead this week saying the word “shit” everyone says “Shizz” these days, Lordes Madonna told ya so!
Do make an appointment and drop by the lift this week however if you wanna get “shizzed on”

we are also running DIY plastic surgery/ breathholding competitions make an appointment with Maureen

ChooXXX Baree
Whats in

DIY plastic surgery

Mania

Park sex
Anal probing
throwing your weight around
Watching war films

Living your life likes its a horror movie

Smoking and listening to heavy rock music on your own

Eating popcorn and blowing DJ’s to get your record played (worked for Madonna)

whats Out

huge tits

People

Places

Things

the real world

SHIT

Baree updates us on Berlin

Baree is our resident fashion blogger, he lives in a lift shaft in Victoria Park with his 72 year old Japanese wife Maureen. Baree is our fashion scout and talent, he tells us how to live and where to live it.

Lets just say Berlin was the “shit” and I “shitted on it”

Maureen and I was super impressed with the city and have come back home with so much inspiration! Maureen nearly moved out there after she got offered a job! (as a cleaner) She didn’t take it as she has no experience “cumquats, Maureen!” instead we have decided to make over our lives and live a bit more Berlinnny here in Londres “Chocked”

We have started up a new clothing line called MR Feces, which Maureen is working on the designs as we speak. We will also be hosting a club night by monthly at our Lift shaft more details will follow. I expect to see all of our three subscribers there! the nights called “Bumholes in the snow” music will be a mix of Enya and Raga Raga Love. Guest list is available, if you dress in pilatzo pants entry is free. club capacity (12)

Super Jaxx

Europe updates: Hennered red wiry hair is still big in middle aged woman, it is all over the streets!

I got to shop at my favorite designer stores, C&A, BHS, and Gwhat everyone gwants! I got some super stained stuff and vintage blouses a gogo!

Looking shit is still a big story, stains are really big, and being a selfish cxxnt has seen a new uprise.

Suicide is way down this month but Perming is up, “Buzzed up”

Im gonna take a” shit on it” henna and perm my hairs, smash up my own property and belongings put Niki minaj on real loud and get totally Loaded on Chi T.

Whats in

Perms

Shitting

Nikki Minaj

Being a selfish Cxnt

Pigs

Corduroy underwear

Chi T

Enya

Whats out

Moving to Berlin

Eating

Suicide

Dying

Berlin Baree, words by Bareee.!

Baree is out resident fashion blogger, he lives in a lift shaft in Victoria Park with his 72 year old japenese wife Maureen. Baree is our fashion scout and talent, he tells us how to live and where to live it.

I am so “jazzzed” inside right now. My nephew has moved out of his halls for the summer and has given me the keys to his room. Meaning I get a hiatus from the living in the lift shaft I call home. I am now living in a patterned cell in a little place above Reading police station.

I have a new roomy and bottom bunk bed, my new roomy/boyfriend is reefat mamood, he is asian or Indian or sumshit, he is really over weight which is really in right now. I really feel like I have met one of the “ones” we have such a deep connection and so much in common, foot wise!.

We have also shared some tough times together in the form of a near death experience on Sunday night. Refat was in bed on the top bunk he turned to reach for a cheese straw and because of his colossal weight the top bunk gave way and he came through the top bunk and bounced on to mine. Luckily I wasn’t in my bed I was arguing in the canteen, thankgod.Otherwise I would have been squashed to death. Refat passed out and sweated all night in my bed which was so romantic.

  Refat has taught me so much about the foreign culture of Reading, I have learnt about how to live on dry food,  all about Sonic the hedgehog and how to wear  manmade fabrics in blistering heat.I really have cherished our time together, and memory permitting will always “remember” it.

 Unfortunately I will have to say good bye to Refatmamood this weekend, that’s right I am off to spend six weeks in Berlin as of Saturday, “crackerboxes ahoy! I’m getting my head shaved and my anus bleached I am going to have the times of my life. I have booked myself into a strangers backgarden on the outskirts of Berlin. Its the latest thing to do camp in peoples back garden http://campinmygarden.com so i will be staying in the garden of Jill Stoods below. I will be updating about all the fashion/happenings and all the shows I go too, so eat my Kunst! You bunch of muthers!

Ciao!                                              Jill Stoods garden , where I will be Camping for six weeks!

Whats in

 Being over weight

Arguing in canteens

Dry food

Strangers

Garden camping

Pinocchio

Moving to Reading

Whats out

People called Jill

Berlin

Happy endings

This week’s looks Pinocchio vs. terminator

Barree introduces Maureen…..

Maureen an introduction taken from a previous post, she has begged me to put up her business card up  so here goes Maureen!

“Maureen is my 72 year old Japanese room mate/wife/cleaner, that I live with in the lift. She is a mature student learning English at the adult education centre in Willesden green and is sort of a refugee, or was until our marriage, now she works as my assistant/healer/fashion consultant although admittedly her English is totally “toasted” and still non existent, she seems to understand what’s going on bout 20% of the time. however Maureen’s fashion physic predictions through dance are literally unbelievable,  and she has helped me so much to find my true self accessories wise”

Baree Fashion update!

Just been to the Welcome Trust event! was  totally buggin! prosthetics are IN! I picked up some high heeled legs and a Nose was totally “unscrewed” also got papped with Granny Gaga

@sent from my blackberry